Sometimes you just need time to let things settle and move around in your brain. The past month of has been one of ‘those’ months where all motivation was gone and then, like magic, it came back in many ways.
Sometimes you just need time to let things settle and move around in your brain. The past month of has been one of ‘those’ months where all motivation was gone and then, like magic, it came back in many ways.
Oh, mama.
I vibe with feeling unmoored lately. I recently had my own selfhood rocked in a way that caused me to flail and cry, and shake, and question everything I thought I knew about who I was. I emerged with a much better, more solid sense of self. During the 3 weeks when I felt very close to being psychotic, I realized I had to experience what I was going through, and honor my fear, my confusion, and my existential crisis. I decided to be OK with not being OK. And it worked. I slowly returned to myself. I slowly began investing in my marriage, in my writing, in my life.
Thank you for sharing your recent feelings about how a survivor goes through feeling ungrounded. As someone with PTSD, any feeling of fear can trigger a cascade of symptoms, including flashbacks and visual distortions, which I briefly had during my recent time of flailing in the air with no ground in sight. We survivors get to combat “normal” times of feeling unhinged in an extra-intense way. It’s always a party, isn’t it?
It is always a party as long as we remember some parties aren’t much fun. 😉
What always amazes me is that when you surrender to the insanity you find your sanity. It’s counterintuitive at best but for some reason, it works. I think you’re right about honoring the fear and confusion. It’s what makes it possible to stop long enough to reevaluate it and reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re going next.
Hang in there, sister. We will survive because the other options are simply not acceptable.