What do you do when all the threats are gone? The process is not linear nor is is predictable.
In the week since I learned by abuser died I’ve experienced relief, confusion, sadness, hope, loss, joy, and anger. Often all at the same time. It’s been a roller coaster ride for sure. The most important change is the that of my hyper-vigilance. I’ll never again have to worry that he can harm another person again. Learning to live without the fear, well, that’s going to take a little bit more time.
I can only dream of such relief. One day, I will get similar news. Honestly, I try to imagine how I will react, and I just can’t. The possibility feels too unreal.
I practiced what I thought my reaction might be in therapy since the creep was incarcerated. The reality was very different than anything I expected or prepared myself for.
Happy that you can relax. As one survivor to another, I understand the mixed feelings. More processing is in your future but this is a huge new chapter and I am happy that you can have some peace.
I can only imagine that this chapter will be filled some strange twists and turns but ultimately will lead towards inner peace. The likes of which I’ve probably never known.